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IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the
telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m.
When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman
asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that
I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working.
He also requested that we report future outages by email. (Does YOUR email work
without a telephone line?).
IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed
I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that
she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked
why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I
had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She
carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As
luck would have it, they matched.
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign
on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want
them to cross there anymore.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceberg.
IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
IDIOT SIGHTING #2
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was
crossing with an intellectually-challenged coworker of mine when she asked
if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when
the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind
people doing driving?!"
IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the
company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully,
"This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We
all just looked at
each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and
for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side
door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the
door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to
the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, 'I know - I already
got that side."
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